Without a doubt, Houston is a burger city. Hubcap Grill has won national renown for its burgers. Branch Water Tavern has a notable burger, and the “Burger Fridays” at Vic & Anthony’s will send me driving 45 minutes across town.
Burgers are so ubiquitous that when a friend and I were dining at a Cajun restaurant, the manager was urging us to try the burger there. “Does every place have to have its own burger?!” asked my friend, somewhat exasperated.
Apparently, the answer is yes.
However, in a town full of burgers, not all of them are inspired, or even particularly good. Out here in Northwest Suburbia where I work and live, there really aren’t many “bad” restaurants, but there are a plethora of mediocre ones. Hitting up an unfamiliar place is a game of roulette that you’re likely to lose.
Cheeburger Cheeburger, with its ripped-off-from-SNL name, concerned me. I was worried that it was going to be factory-assembled “consumerburgers” with pathetically thin patties and uniform buns. Indeed, it’s a franchise, and sometimes franchise operations can impose deadly, dull consistency on their locations.
However, Cheeburger Cheeburger at Vintage Park is a charmer. The 1950s kitsch interior is a little silly, but it’s cute and fun.
I have been there at least five times and used the online ordering system once, and have been warmly welcomed and well cared for during my meal by the staff every time. By the way, online ordering was completely successful. My burger was ready exactly at the time stated by the transaction page. (I have been told – but not personally confirmed – that using online ordering with Five Guys and Smashburger does not ensure they have even started your order by the time you arrive.)
My go-to burger is “The Serious,” which has a half-pound patty (before cooking) customized with my choice of toppings. It’s $6.99, and there is a list of 25 toppings to choose from at no extra charge, ranging from pickles to peanut butter.
Vegetarians have options here, too, but the ones I’ve had thus far are not very good. I’ve tried both the veggie burger and the portobello mushroom sandwich. The veggie burger patty is mostly rice, and there’s a distinct onion flavor, but it’s rock hard and just not very interesting. Portobello caps, when cooked, exude a great deal of liquid. Broiling, roasting or even just draining these big mushroom tops on paper towels helps dry them out a bit. Without intervention though, slapping one on a bun and adding a few toppings turns the whole concoction into a slippery, wet mess.
Cheeburger Cheeburger also has a variety of wraps and burger platters that include fries or onion rings, as well as salad or coleslaw. Speaking of salad, they have an “Invent Your Own Salad” section of the menu. Your choices include adding a quarter pound of burger meat, which sounds like an interesting idea. Turkey burgers and chicken sandwiches are also on the menu.
Shakes are another area where you can get just about as creative as you want. The to-go menu I currently have has 75 additions to choose from. Some of the unique possible add-ins are cinnamon bun, watermelon, birthday cake and cotton candy. The shakes are served in the metal mixing cup. I split a chocolate-coconut malt with my sweetheart, and it was plenty big enough for both of us.
Overall, this place is great. Just stick with the core menu items for a burger joint: burgers, fries, onion rings and shakes. These are what Cheeburger Cheeburger does best.
It’s not close to overtaking my favorite pick for a burger place, Hubcap Grill, not by a long shot. However, when I can’t make the drive to The Heights or downtown to satisfy a burger craving, Cheeburger Cheeburger will do nicely.
CHEEBURGER CHEEBURGER, 106 Vintage Park Blvd. in Vintage Park Shopping Center, 281-320-1212. Order online at cheeburger.com. No delivery is available at this time.