Earlier this summer I caught a story on several news websites about a recently-opened Alexandria,Virginia, sushi bar (called The Sushi Bar) that doesn’t allow patrons under age 18. The restaurant owner, who has children of his own, commented that he didn’t believe children should be kept from restaurants all together — but that he didn’t want them dining in his restaurant. His reasoning? He felt that in the heavy baby-buggy traffic area of town in which his restaurant was located parents needed a break from their own kids. Helicopter parents, specifically, needed a night off.
While The Sushi Bar claims that they don’t allow guests under 18 years old to dine in their establishment in order to give parents a break — it is a welcome guideline for adults who don’t enjoy the behavior of children who have hands-off parents, the opposite of helicopter children.
This week Houston’s own La Fisheria made national news after it announced that while young children are still welcome to dine at the Mexican seafood restaurant, they are asked to dine before 7 pm. Reactions from the public have been mixed but mostly in favor of the new rule.
In my consideration of the pros and cons of this decision, I keep coming back to one very basic question: Shouldn’t young kids be fed by 6:30 and in bed by 8? I like to be in bed by 8 on many nights myself — I get crabby late at night when I’ve had a long day, too. When I see children under age 13 at a restaurant after 8 pm, I first think that they must be very hungry, having to wait so late to eat dinner. The stink-eye of neighboring guests when Junior is being out of sorts at an upscale restaurant would make me uncomfortable, and if I’m going to spend money to eat at a nice restaurant, I wouldn’t want to have to keep enforcing sit still and eat your dinner. I’d want to enjoy every minute of my meal that I’m paying for without having to manage my brood.
Of course children are people too — and families should feel comfortable dining out. But things can go all wrong when all you want is your dinner to go right. We’ve all been there — dining in a better restaurant and trying to enjoy an adult conversation on a date or celebrate an occasion with a group of adult friends — when halfway through your cocktails and appetizers you’re subjected to high pitched screams and angry fits of a young child. We witness it on airplanes and in grocery stores, parents who are dealing with a tantrum or meltdown. Often times a parent tries to calm their offspring and keep them in line, but we’ve all seen a tiny demon of a two-year-old take control of an adult 20 times his or her age with manipulation, threats and the complete abandonment of self control. I can only imagine what it is like to have a small child push you to the point of such desperation that you contemplate, if just for a brief moment, walking out of Target and leaving your hysterical toddler in the toilet paper aisle.
But it is one thing to stand in line while a dad with two young boys tries his best to hold it together at the end of a painful grocery-store trip. It is another to sit down for a meal at a restaurant and have to endure the poor behavior of a child.
Behavior modification specialist B.F. Skinner (nerd alert: I was a psychology and sociology major in college) practiced the theory of rewarding good behavior and ignoring bad behavior, which makes a lot of sense with young children. Words of affirmation or a special dessert as a reward for good behavior at a restaurant are healthy ways to encourage future good behavior. But why should other customers have to endure the bad behavior that parents are “ignoring”? You don’t often see a manager ask parents to control their child, and you can imagine the reaction parents would have if they were asked to leave as their child was a disruption to dinner service.
Running around the table, making a mess with their food, using outdoor voices and not using big-boy manners — these are things some children (but certainly not all) do when dining out. Parents can have one perfectly behaved child and one that ruins it for the entire family and dining room — even though they have shown both children how to behave in the same manner.
Personally, I love children — if I’m celebrating the birthday of a friend’s child and they would rather have dinner out at Skeeter’s, I’m fine with that. When there is a table of 12 Little Leaguers next to you, your best friend’s four-year-old and the three-year-old who lives next door don’t seem so loud and awkward when exchanging conversations about Spiderman and using the potty.
While I was growing up in Memorial, we ate at the Ninfa’s off I-10 in the Echo Lane Shopping Center at least once a week. Not because I was addicted to puffy tacos, but because my brother is about 10 years younger than I, and he was a charmingly mischievous little boy at times. We loved that we could blend into the crowd of families with younger children at Ninfa’s at 6 pm.
We frequented Pappy’s Cafe as well, because my exhausted parents could give us a buck in quarters and we could play with the claw machine in the back next to the photo booth. Allison Baring, who has been one of my best friends since kindergarten, took a photo with me in the Pappy’s photo booth when we were in third grade — I still have it on my dresser. Oh, the memories of our parents taking herds of children out for dinner after a long, grueling work week. I tip my hat to you, parents. Today at age 29 I sometimes fall asleep with my contacts in because I’m so tired; I don’t know how you fed us and got us home successfully in your Explorers and wood-paneled minivans.
Southwell’s? Don’t even get me started. More than once I’ve witnessed a munchkin-sized kid jump on his friend’s back in the ordering line while his mother hides in a nearby booth and tries to eat her salad in under five minutes before wrangling her other two sons (and their three friends) back into the car so that she can continue to devote the rest of her weekend to feeding them, transporting them and buying them soccer cleats that they will grow out of in six months. During my life, my reaction to these situations has gone from being oblivious to the scene entirely to mentally toasting her with a shot of tequila. It can’t be easy.
However, when I’m at an upscale Tex-Mex restaurant and looking forward to a plethora of margaritas and fajitas at brunch with a gentleman friend, I don’t want to be seated in a small party room with two birthday parties set up for guests under age 16. This happened to me recently at one of my favorite restaurants. At first I thought I just didn’t want to sit next to the young children — who were averaging age five or six — some of whom were crawling in and out from under the tables. The other two occupied tables in the little side room were also occupied of families of four and five people. I realized that in my ripe old age, I didn’t want to sit between birthday parties of kids … period.
Dining near well-behaved kids is one thing; sitting between two large parties of them in a small space where their gleeful voices were bouncing off the walls was something all together different. If I hear a high-pitched screech at a restaurant, I hope that it is the happy news of a baby or an engagement, not that of a victim of flying food or a child being stepped on while under the feet of a waiter.
With the demand of Tex-Mex restaurants still going strong among Houstonians, family-friendly Lupe Tortilla had mixed reactions when it chose to shut down the controversial sandbox that had long been both the bane of its Highway 59 South location — and the attraction. Some patrons with children disliked the sandy mess it made, but appreciated the distraction that the patio sandbox offered young guests. Other guests felt that the sandbox encouraged loud inappropriate behavior and taught children that it was indeed okay to act like a restaurant was a playground.
If children in adult restaurants is frowned upon, how do they learn to experience it and behave appropriately? Everyone has to learn, and we all learn differently.
I can’t deny that there are some children who behave like little adults in restaurants — kudos to them and their parents. Those kids learned it quickly, while others don’t. And I can’t argue with anyone who might say there are adults who shouldn’t dine out as they sometimes also lack the appropriate behavior. What I can do is create a list of restaurants that offer families a setting in which young children can learn to dine with manners, to eat a nice meal in a non-Chuck E. Cheese environment — an environment ideal for training, if you will — to practice how we eat like big girls and big boys.
- Taste of Texas A great starter steakhouse for little ones that is famously family friendly. Just be sure to eat early. This is also an ideal time to introduce kids to dressing the part for dining out. Sometimes you can’t keep your five-year-old in a blazer for more than 5 minutes, but if he knows to wear one to the restaurant (before taking it off and handing it to you) and to attempt to keep his shirt tucked in, that’s a good start.
- Ruggles Green The CityCentre location is literally on the green, so your kids have a great view on the patio of live music and water fountains. Additionally, Ruggles Green offers 35 options for children (and adults) who have a gluten intolerance.
- Quattro Sunday evenings’ new family-style service is also family friendly. Each week the menu changes, and three courses are $20 for adults, $10 for kids and children under five eat for free.
- Laurenzo’s The Laurenzo family of restaurants includes El Tiempo as well, and their facilities work to make both families and adult groups comfortable by seating guests accordingly in their dining rooms. (You’ll recall the incident that happened earlier this year between two families at Laurenzo’s.)
- Goode Company Barbecue The I-10 location gives kids a lot to look at, though a big stuffed bison might be a little frightening to some small children.
- Barnaby’s Bight colors make up the warm murals on the wall, and children are kept occupied with quick service and crayons.
- Niko Niko’s With the Montrose location’s large back-dining room perfect for families and larger groups, owner Dimitri Fetokakis encourages little ones to come and dine at his family’s Greek restaurant.
- Hobbit Cafe It isn’t pushing a children’s menu, but if you’ve got good, open-minded eaters between ages seven and 12, the campy decor will excite young diners who are fans of the Lord of The Rings series.
- The Buffalo Grille On weekends, The Buffalo Grille is packed full of families. Did you know that Tuesday through Saturday, both locations are open until 9 pm?
- Pronto Cucinino When you’re a Mandola, you’ve got more than 800 relatives in Houston alone. And you know how families like to dine. Another added bonus of Pronto Cucinino is the curbside pickup — if you’d rather get food to-go, you don’t have to shuffle the kids in and out with you — your food is brought directly to your vehicle.