Tales of the Cocktail, the world’s premier cocktail conference, is quite possibly the most life-changing event a cocktail enthusiast or bartender might ever experience.

Founded in 2002, this annual event features seminars, tastings and special events geared towards all levels of education and enthusiasm. The 12th Annual Tales of the Cocktail was held this past weekend (July 16 to 20) in New Orleans.

Want to learn ergonomic shaking techniques? Or pitfalls to avoid when opening a bar? Interested in hearing Kenny Freeman, Bobby Heugel and Alba Huerta discuss the finer points of staff training? Or do you simply want to rock out your next dinner party at home with a well-made punch?

Oh, so you know everything there is to know about booze? No worries. Skip the seminars and check out killer events held in airports, Mardi Gras float factories and aquariums with great drinks prepared and served by some of the world’s leading mixologists, including Dale DeGroff, Jim Meehan, Yael Vengroff, The Bon Vivants and more. If none of this sounds appealing, stop reading now; otherwise, get your butt down to TOTC next summer and explore the veritable oasis of slings, sours, fixes, fizzes, punches, rickeys, juleps, mules, bucks and, of course, cocktails.

This year, I was honored to attend as a Tales of the Cocktail Apprentice. The Cocktail Apprentice Program (CAP for short) is the workhorse/workforce of the conference. Together, 70 of the world’s leading barmen and women prepare drinks for and execute all of the seminars and major events. Additionally, the CAP team is privy to exclusive seminars and content curated for the group. Between 7 am call times after raucous nights at the Erin Rose and the 200,000 or so cocktails we prepared (as shown below in the hollows of the Hotel Monteleone), this mostly sleep-free week taught me how to survive at Tales.

Here are some tips to enhance your experience at a future TOTC:

BOOK YOUR ROOM EARLY. The hotels fill up fast, and if you’re stacking your schedule with education and fun, the last thing you want to do is spend those precious three hours of sleep on the floor of a friend’s hotel room. Seriously, start looking for rooms as soon as the 2015 dates are released.

WATER This is the most important tool for survival at TOTC. Find it, drink it, keep a bottle of it on you at all times, give it to your friends. Like Houston, New Orleans is hot as heck in July, plus you’ll probably be consuming more alcohol than normal, so double up on your water intake.

FOOD Things tend to happen really fast and you may double book yourself, but do be sure to make time for food. Eat something for breakfast even if it’s just a granola bar. Grab a po’boy for lunch — if you’re in a hurry, split it with someone or give half of it to someone in need. And be sure to eat dinner. Nawlins is full of great food – take advantage.

MODERATION Did I mention this is an alcohol-focused conference? There will be drinks everywhere, and many of them are free. Don’t feel obligated to finish anything. Obviously if you really enjoy a cocktail, cherish it, but I promise that you aren’t going to hurt anyone’s feelings by taking two or three sips to evaluate what’s in the glass and moving along. Remember that there is plenty!

SAFETY New Orleans is a super fun city, but it can also be dangerous, especially as you walk down Royal Street in your straw hat, brightly colored tiki shirt, seersucker shorts with an event lanyard around your neck and a Sazerac in a go cup in hand just screaming TARGET. Seriously, keep your wits about you. Always scan your surroundings and never walk alone after dark. People get mugged every year. Don’t be a victim.

SERVICE Pitch in, especially if you are in the industry. There are many ways to do this, but specifically look into The Bon Vivants’ Volunteer Day, where a group of bartenders help make needed improvements to an underfunded New Orleans high school. Additionally, the United States Bartenders’ Guild (USBG) has a program called Sober Brothers and Sisters, where members pledge to spend the day sober and help folks who may have ignored the suggestions spelled out above.

And finally, have a great time. Tales is all about shared knowledge and advancement of the craft and our industry.  If you happen to learn something useful, bring it home and tell all of your friends. Share notes and recordings of presentations with your co-workers, employees and bosses — and especially with those who had to work the bar while you were out of town for a week.  Until next year, cheers y’all.

Editor’s note: A big congratulations to the writer, Alexander Gregg, who was named one of  Beverage Media’s Top 10 Bartenders to Watch in 2014 at the Tales of the Cocktail Spirited Awards Dinner this past weekend. We can’t wait to taste what he serves us next!